Wise advice for women

I received another email from a friend and have decided to share it here because it's so true. Read it and remember it ladies, because you have to respect yourselves before others can respect you. Nothing upsets me more than women who still choose to ignore the signs and yet make excuses for men's misbehaviour, hoping against hope that they will change. If women in some countries are fighting tooth and nail for their rights to make their choices, why do women like us, women who are privileged enough to be able to make our own choices, choose to throw that privilege away? More often than not, many women are afraid they'll end up alone, grow old alone. But is that any excuse to settle for just about any man who mistreats or disrespect you? Just so you have a companion? What use is a companion who strips you of your dignity? Keep your dignity ladies, teach your daughters. If a man can't accept you as his equal, then he doesn't deserve you.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't 'be friends'. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think 'it will get better'
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.


Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behaviour.* Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...
Compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...
There is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted

Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.*
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil

You should know that:
You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one.

They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices..
Make the right one.

What a woman wants

I received the following email from a friend and I'd like to share it because I think that it's true for modern women.

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question......

'What kind of man are you looking for?'

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking..

'Do you really want to know?'
Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes.'

She began to expound... As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more.' I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life.'
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, 'I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentallybecause I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man or one who is solely about sexual desires.' I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive....he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You're asking a lot.'

She replied, 'I'm worth a lot.'

Abuse

It’s been barely a couple of weeks ago that Chris Brown made headlines by battering Rihanna and now comes news that they’ve apparently made up and even married.

This is actually devastating news, considering Rihanna is also a role-model for many young fans. I’d hate to think that young girls who look up to her will now think that it is acceptable to be battered and that things will get better and lovey-dovey after a few apologies.

A man should never be allowed to raise his hand on a woman, period. It does not matter if he thinks he is justified to hit her for whatever reason. It is simply not acceptable behaviour. Once the beating starts, it never really stops. It’s a vicious cycle. Many women believe that their man will not beat them anymore after making heartfelt apologies, but you’d only have to look at the Women Aid centres to see that this is not the case.

Girls and women need to be made aware of their rights to be treated with dignity and respect. It is indeed sad that some willingly allow themselves to be abused all in the name of love. Is it really worth it in the end?

Equality Now! Equal Rights for Girls and Women

As women, are we aware that all sorts of injustices are inflicted upon our fellow sisters around the world each day? Does it pain you to read or hear about human rights violations that these defenseless young girls and women have to endure in the course of their lives?

If you do, you can do something to help. You can join Equality Now, like me, and help fight for rights for girls and women around the world.

Equality Now is an international human rights organization dedicated to action for civil, political, economic and social rights of girls and women around the world.

I have been a member of Equality Now for a good eleven years now. I first found out about Equality Now when I read the book, “Do They Hear You When You Cry?” by Fauziya Kazindja. I was deeply moved by Fauziya’s story and felt that I had to do something to help and joining Equality Now opened that opportunity for me.

I know that I am fortunate to be able to live my life the way I see fit, but I am also deeply aware that other women may not have such a privilege. It’s sad, really, because we each have only one life to live. Who should have a say in how we chose to live it other than ourselves?

Unfortunately for some women, their decision to live their lives could sometimes prove fatal, such as in the case of honor killings where family members kill the girls to erase a family’s shame. Shame can be very subjective because to some communities, just speaking to an unknown male is reason enough for murder.

If you’d like to do your bit to help our fellow sisters around the world, or maybe just to know more about Equality Now, please visit their website at http://www.equalitynow.org/. All it’ll cost you is your time.

Male Chauvinist?

Something happened in the market this morning. I was at a stall buying breakfast and next to the stall, a lady was setting up a stall selling brassieres. To me, that was normal activity. However, it is obvious to the man now standing beside me that it wasn't. He muttered to the woman, "Sakit Mata!" ("Eyesore"!). I could see the disdain in his face. He stood in front of the stall for a good minute glaring at the lady vendor. There was a woman with him whom I assumed to be his wife. Maybe it is just me, but I could not understand his reaction. What's the big deal anyway? Was he offended by the sight of women's undies in the market? What was he thinking?! The woman with him just stood by and smiled. Now it is me who was offended! Here is a man who was acting so condescendingly to another woman and this one just stood by him and smiled. *sigh* Hello? How is this acceptable?