Reasons for divorce

Recently, it was reported in the local dailies that divorce rates were high in Terengganu. The reasons given for divorce borders on ridiculousness. How does boring sex, spouses in old pajamas and whose body odour smells like fish crackers even get into the equation for divorce these days? Boring sex life, maybe, but old pajamas and fish crackers? Call me old-fashioned, but whatever happened to simple old "irreconciliable differences" as reasons for divorce? If we're to believe such ludicruos reasons for divorce, then we'll all soon be expected to go to bed looking like Victoria's Secret models. Don't forget a spritz of a sexy perfume to raise the temperatures! Do we now have such unrealistic expectations for our spouses that a marriage can't work simply because the spouse concerned goes to bed donning old pajamas? The reasons are highly suspect, for it may seem like just an excuse to get rid of wife no. 1, to make way for wife no. 2, no. 3 and no. 4? What do you think?

Is marriage no longer sacred?

It used to be that marriage is sacred, a match made in heaven, so to speak. However, these days the sanctity of marriage means nothing more than a piece of paper.

It is unfortunate, but of late I seem to be hearing more often of young couples getting divorced. They no longer see marriage as something to be worked at. As soon as either party is unhappy, either over a serious or trivial matter, it’s off-to-the-courts-we-go.

I’ve had an acquaintance who told me in the weeks running up to her marriage that if things don’t work out, she’ll just get a divorce. I’m not one to force my opinions on others, but I could hardly contain my disappointment. Why even get married in the first place if you’re already thinking of divorce? Whatever happens to “Till death do us part” or working out the problems? Granted, every marriage has its problems. That’s perfectly normal considering two very different people trying to live together.

I’m not sure exactly if men have the same problems, but I guess one of the biggest problems for some women is that they go into a marriage in the pre-conceived notion of “happily ever after”. They seem to think that real-life marriage is a mirror of all the fairytales they read when they were children. As such, they expect their life-partner to be the perfect Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet, that there will be no fights, and all will be merry. Life will be just peaches. As soon as first sign of trouble begins to brew, they are ready to give up because it’s just not part of the fairytale.

I also know of some people, men and women, who do not show the other party their true self, that is, until after they’re married. I don’t know how they must have felt living a life full of pretensions, but it is something that I definitely could not do. I don’t think that’s being fair to the other party. And anyways, how long can they go on pretending? It’s quite possible for a year or two, but a whole lifetime? How sad life must be for them!

Certainly, there are level-headed young couples who venture into a marriage prepared for the many bumps ahead. I’m just sorry not all couples who say “I do” really mean it.